Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle.
Bang.
Zoom.
Ryan Reynolds is very pretty.
He has many muscles.
Blake Lively's pretty too.
I’ve seen her naked on the internet.
Things go fast. Things go boom.
Things go ooooooo.
. . . . Yup. That’s really all I’ve got.
I wish I had more to share, but that’s really it.
I enjoyed the movie fine. I never had the urge to throw anything at the screen or go into seizures, which is a plus. My car was still in the parking lot when the movie was done.
Mostly, I’ll remember this movie like I remember that time I went to an oxygen bar in the mall – as an experience you do once, just to see what it’s like, because you know it’s a bit of rip off.
You go in expecting to be mildly content at best and you are throughout, so when the effects wear off moments after it’s over you aren’t very bothered by it. The décor is mildly pleasant, so you feel decently relaxed. Nothing offends you, so the time passes and ends and you move on with your life. In fact, neither the pleasure nor the disappointment is ever so great as to make the experience memorable in any way, so when it ends all that is left is a vague memory of having done it, possibly with the after-glow of not having been particularly upset.
Sometimes being filled with air is enough.
Not for 3D prices. Heavens no.
But for an afternoon matinee in the rain: why not?
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